


Choices

by LockBox22 (taleanaomi)



Series: Jame Deakins [2]
Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: Case Fic, Developing Relationship, F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Police Procedural, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taleanaomi/pseuds/LockBox22
Summary: During a chance meeting on a case, certain choices are made that will change everything for them; past and present. Direct Sequel to “Shorthand.”
Relationships: Mike Logan/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Jame Deakins [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143281





	1. Chapter 1

The request had been small. Simple really when one thought of it. After all, at times the departments of the New York Police Department had a history of working with one another and sharing information when it lead to taking bad guys off the street. 

Mike Logan had expected the usual courier with a file when he had put in the request to the Organized Crime Investigation Devision or OCID as it was locally known. He wasn't ready for what greeted him as he walked into Captain Ross' office late that evening. 

It had been a while since he had seen her, but even with the new haircut – shorter looked good on her – and the different style of dress, he would recognize her anywhere. She uncrossed her legs and stood when he entered the room. The way she moved was different, sexier, and he wondered if she had been undercover recently. 

“Logan, it seems like OCID decided to respond to your request in person. This is...” 

“Detective Jami Carter.” Logan interrupted. 

She smiled. “Nice to see you again, Mike.” There was a pause as they both stood across from each other. 

Ross motioned both of them to the chairs. “Why don't we get started? Logan, I understand Wheeler is out running down some leads with her CI's?” 

Logan nodded as he eased himself into the chair closest to him. “Yeah.”

Ross motioned. “I was just bringing Detective Carter up to speed on the information that lead you to ask for the OCID file.” 

Logan turned to Jami. 

“Captain Ross told me you have a run in with one of our more notorious crime bosses.” Jami said. “The information you requested hits against several open cases. OCID's official position is that you back off from the investigation. We have several people undercover and asking for a murder conviction could result in exposing their identities. You need to stop pushing.”

“Our case is solid. We can get a conviction.” Logan replied. “How far away is OCID from making the arrest?” 

“I can't answer that.” Jami replied after a moment. 

Ross exchanged a look with Logan. “What can OCID offer us?” Ross asked. “All we needed was some information. We don't need you sticking your nose in our murder case just because you want to make a bust.” 

“We don't want to make a bust.” Jami replied, with an annoyed frown. “We want to make sure that this guy spends the rest of his natural life behind bars without possibility of parole. Murder cases are hard to make stick to a guy who had made killing a lifestyle, you know that.”

“What's the offer?” Logan asked. 

“Partnership.” Jami replied. “We include your murder investigation when we arrest the bastard and make sure that he spends more time behind bars then he has.” 

“But OCID gets the credit.” Ross pointed out. 

“I don't care about the credit.” Jami said. “You may have had to deal with that in the past, but I don't care who the press says busted him. I just want him off the street.” The way she spoke told Logan that she had stopped speaking for the department. 

“I'm sure we can work something out.” Logan said. They spent another twenty minutes discussing various ways they could compromise, but in the end OCID came out the winner. Ross was not pleased and Jami exited the office on not good terms with the Major Case captain. 

Logan excused himself. He quickly caught up to Jami just as she pressed the elevator's call button. “Hey.” Jami turned around. “I just want to apologize for what happened in there.” He said. “It's nothing personal.” 

“I know.” Jami said with a sigh. She titled her head back to look up at him. “My boss thought since I had history with Major Case that I would be able to smooth things over. Our departments don't really have a good track record.” She glanced around at the office. “I didn't know it had changed this much.” 

“How have things been over at Organized Crime?” Logan asked. “Your transfer go ok?” 

The elevator dinged and they stepped out of the way to let people off. Jami stuck her hands into her jean pockets, suddenly looking less like a detective and more like the free spirit Logan knew her to be. 

“It's been fine.” Jami replied. “Undercover sucks some times, but we've managed to get quite a few guys off the streets. Makes your jobs easier.” She smiled. “It's nothing you suits would understand though.” 

Logan smiled at the small joke. “Feel like a drink?” He asked. “I know this great little place down the way.” 

“I’d like that.” Jami said. She grinned. “And you can fill me in on what’s been happening at Major Case.” 

“I’m warning you, you might not like it.” Logan replied. 

“I’m a big girl.” Jami shot back with a quick grin as they stepped onto the elevator. “I’m sure I can handle it.”   
o0o

Several hours later and after a long talk over a few drinks, Logan and Jami finally stepped out of the club and into the cool morning air. It was well after one in the morning. 

Jami laughed as Logan finished accounting a funny story about catching the dumbest criminal in history. Logan chucked as he fished his keys out his pocket. He had called a cab for Jami, but she still needed to get her stuff from his car. “Where’d we park?” He asked.

“Down the street.” Jami said. She reached for the keys. 

“Why are you always stealing my keys?” Logan asked with a smile.

“At least I don't have lift them.” Jami replied as she playfully tugged the keys from his grasp. “Unlike last time.” She teased as she walked backwards off the curb, dangling the keys in one hand. 

The traffic had slowed to let them cross, but one car refused to stop and screamed on by through the crosswalk. Logan grabbed Jami and pulled her back onto the curb just as the driver whizzed by them. Car horns followed the convertible as he cut the corner at the end of the street. 

“Thanks.” Jami breathed, Logan’s jacket sleeve clutched tight in one hand.

“No problem.” Logan replied looking after the car. “Wackos.” 

“What is it with us and cars?” Jami said. She was referring to the time two years ago that they had almost been killed in an accident that had been connected to their current case. 

He looked down at Jami, who had yet to let go of his sleeve. She looked up at him, green eyes reflecting in the light from the street lights. Whether it was the alcohol or the adrenaline, neither of them would know. Slowly, their heads began to drift together. 

“Mike.” Jami breathed in warning before Logan kissed her. The kiss was gentle, experimental. Logan felt Jami stiffen and he thought she might pull away. But she moved closer to him and he placed a hand on her waist. Jami curled a hand around his collar. 

When they broke the kiss, neither of them said anything for a moment. “Maybe we should both take that cab.” Logan said finally. 

“Maybe we should.” Jami replied softly before their lips met again. 

o0o

The apartment complex was dark and silent, the tenants gone to bed long ago. The door didn’t stick as it usually did and opened easily. Logan made sure to lock the door behind them before pulling Jami to him for another kiss. 

Logan tossed his jacket on the couch and then slide Jami's jacket from her shoulders revealing the shoulder holster she now wore. Jami unbuckled it and tossed it on the couch. “I don't think we'll need these anymore.” She said reaching for Logan's gun. He let her take it and place it with hers on the couch.

Shoes were abandoned somewhere in the middle of the living room and Jami's hands slipped into Logan's hair as he gently pulled her shirt from the waistband of her slacks while he kissed her. Everything was lost in the array of sensations until Jami’s back hit the wall behind her. Logan had forgotten about the wall and had backed her into it. 

Logan’s hands finished unbuttoning Jami’s shirt and slipped it from her shoulders. Neither of them paid any attention to where they were going and a moment later, Logan was the one who was being shoved against the wall. Neither of them paid any mind. Jami’s fingers got stuck on a button and breaking the kiss, she looked down.

Logan bent his head and kissed her again. It was gentle, a lover’s caress. Jami returned it, the stubborn button coming undone at last. Placing his hands on her hips, Logan gently guided her into the bedroom. 

Jami allowed herself to be backed into the bedroom, leaving their shoes, socks and shirts lying abandoned in the living room.   
o0o

His head was pounding. That was the first thing he realized as he drifted into consciousness. The sun was bright and was shining in full force on his face. He groaned, covering his face with one hand as he opened his eyes. 

Even with his face covered, he had to blink a few times before his eyes adjusted to the light. A hangover. Just what he needed. The bed shifted and he looked over to see Jami sit up. She slammed her hand on top of her alarm clock and ran a hand through her hair. 

He debated about saying something, but didn't. He watched as she slipped from the bed and grabbed something from the floor. She pulled on a shirt and straightened up, banging her head on the open drawer. Logan sat up in concern.

She cursed and turned, one hand on her head. 

“Hey.” He said. “You ok?” 

“Fine.” Jami replied angrily, slamming the drawer closed after pulling out a fresh shirt.   
“I have to go to work soon.”

“What time is it?” Logan asked squinting at the clock. The sun made it hard to read the numbers. His eyes widened as he made out that it was just after seven. He swore and jumped out of the bed, scrambling for his clothes. He was going to be late. Again. 

“I take it your shift is earlier then mine.” Jami commented dryly. 

“It started ten minutes ago.” Logan replied yanking on his pants.

“Do you want to use the shower?” Jami asked, motioning towards the bathroom. 

“No, I don't have time.” Logan stopped and looked over at Jami, who was watching him closely. “Jami, I...” 

“Go.” Jami interrupted him. “We can talk later.” 

“Dinner?” Logan asked questioningly as he started to button up his shirt. 

Jami almost laughed as she tossed clothes on the bed. “I think we've moved well past dates three and four already.” She quipped. 

Logan paused at the last button and looked up at her. Her tone had been off; that hadn't been a joke. 

“I'm sorry.” Jami apologized. “That was uncalled for.” She waved her hand. “I don't do good with a hangover and not a whole lot of sleep.” 

Logan came over to her and took her arms in a comfortingly grasp. “I'm sorry.” He apologized knowing that the last half of that equation had been his fault. 

“For what?” Jami asked with a gentle frown, her eyes searching his.”I had a good time last night, Mike. You don't need to apologize.” 

“I do.” Logan replied. “I'm sorry that we can't talk about... this. Do you want to talk about it?”

Jami nodded. “Yeah. It's going to cost you a dinner.” She told him with a coy smile. “A nice dinner.” 

“How about tonight?” Logan asked. Jami nodded. He kissed her gently. “Ok?” He asked drawing back so he could see her face. 

Jami nodded. “Ok.” She replied with a small smile. 

Logan let go of her and left the bedroom, grabbing his shoes from the hallway. His gun was still on the couch and he replaced it on his belt before slipping on his shoes. Jami grabbed his tie from the couch and slipped it around his neck before he could head out the door.

“I call you later.” Logan promised as he opened the front door to her apartment. Jami nodded as she caught the open door. She was only wearing her blue button-up and looked so good that Logan couldn't resist winking at her as he started down the stairs. 

o0o

Logan slipped into Major Case hoping that Wheeler wouldn't notice that he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. As it was, she practically jumped him as soon as he walked into the bullpen. 

“You're an hour late.” She reminded him, quietly sneaking up on his left side. 

Logan jumped. “Don't do that.” He said irritably turning to face her. “You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” 

“And you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday.” Wheeler commented without missing a beat as she raised an eyebrow. 

“Am not.” Logan lied. 

“Are too.” Wheeler shot back. “What? Didn't have time to go home and change?” She wrinkled her nose. “Are you even wearing deodorant?” 

“Yes, mother.” Logan replied with a quick roll of his eyes. “And I changed my socks as well. Anything else you'd like to check on? Maybe if I clipped my toenails this morning too?” 

“You don't have to get snippy.” Wheeler replied. She snapped open the file she was carrying and started to briefed Logan as they walked towards his desk. “We have another case. Robbery of a jewelry store; forth and Main. High-end. We have surveillance photos.” 

“Any good?” Logan asked looking around on his desk. He couldn't find his cell phone. 

“Don't know.” Wheeler replied watching her partner dig through the mound of paperwork on his desk. “Lose something?” 

“Can't find my cell.” Logan said. He must have left it at Jami's. “Probably left it at the apartment.”

“That's not like you.” Wheeler commented, but left it alone. “Captain wants us to get down to the scene right away. Right away being half an hour ago.” 

“Then let's not keep the man waiting.” Logan replied starting to walk towards the elevator. 

“I had to cover for you.” Wheeler remarked as Logan held the door open for her. 

“Thanks, Wheeler. What are partners for?” Logan joked. 

“Not to cover your ass all the time.” Wheeler replied. “I can't keep doing this for you. Either you come in or call in sick. Don't make me sit here and concoct stories.” 

“Jeez, Megan. I was only kidding.” Logan replied, holding up hands in a placating gesture. “It won't happen again.” He promised after a beat. The elevator doors dinged. 

“Maybe not anymore this week.” Wheeler muttered as she brushed past him. 

Logan stood there for a moment in stunned silence. He didn't know how much covering for him bothered Wheeler. 

“Come on; you have to talk to me.” Logan said as he and Wheeler got out of their car at the jewelry store. The ride here had taken twenty minutes and in that time, Megan hadn't spoke one word to him. 

Wheeler ignored him and slammed her car door closed. She started towards the crime scene without him. 

“Megan.” Logan caught up with her and gently took her by the arm. “I'm truly sorry. I didn't know it bothered you that much. It'll stop; I promise.” 

“Honestly?” Wheeler asked turning to face him. 

“Yeah.” Logan replied. “I promise. Just stop giving me that evil eye.” 

Wheeler managed a smile and nodded. “Alright. You better not let it happen again. Remember you promised; that means I get to hold you to it.” 

Logan nodded. “Yes, ma'am.” He replied without any sarcasm. 

o0o

The case they had been handed yielded no results through good old fashioned police work and the fingerprints and DNA would take another day, so Logan and Wheeler decided to call it a night and get a fresh start in the morning. 

Back at the office, Logan's message light was blinking. He picked up the receiver and dialled his voicemail. The automated message told him that he had one new voice mail from this afternoon. 

“Hey, Mike.” 

Logan recognized Jami's voice. 

“I really didn’t want to leave a message, but I couldn't reach you on your cell.” Jami's voice continued. “I'm going to have to skip dinner tonight. Don't think this puts you off the hook though, I still want my steak.”

He could hear the smile in her voice. 

“I’ve caught a case. I’m going to be under deep cover for a while so you won't be able to contact me.”

Her voice became quieter. 

“I had a really great time last night, Mike. I'll see you when I get back to real world. Or not. No pressure.” 

Logan pressed the button to disconnect the call and then dialled Jami's cell phone number. Part of him was ok with Jami leaving; after all, she was going undercover and he couldn't fault her for doing her job. But another part of him needed to clear the air. Who knew how long Jami would be under and he had left things pretty messy, no matter what Jami said. 

Her message service came on and Logan hung up the phone; he didn't want to leave a message. Logan stood and started for the elevators. 

“Where're you going?” Wheeler called after him. 

“I have something to take care of.” Logan called back, jamming his thumb into the call button. The elevator opened quickly. “Don't wait up.” He yelled back stepping into the elevator. 

He was going to talk to Jami in person.


	2. Chapter 2

The bullpen of the Organized Crime Investigation Division was a hub of activity. Plain clothed officers and detectives scurried with way and that; handing off files, yelling information across the room at each other. Only a small number of then actually wore suits and the rest of them only a trained eye could distinguish the officers of the law from the criminals that they were detaining. 

Feeling slightly out of place in his suit, Logan walked further into the commander centre. He pulled aside a uniformed officer and asked if he knew where Jami was. The officer didn't, but pointed Logan towards Mike Scarlatti's office in the corner of the bullpen. 

The sergeant who was in charge of this precinct's undercover officers had just finished a phone call as Logan walked up. From the look on the other detective's face, Logan would bet that it hadn't been good news. 

The other man slammed the phone into it's cradle so hard that the desk shook with the force. Scarlatti grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and spun, catching himself before he rammed into Logan. 

“Mike Logan.” Logan introduced himself not giving the other man a chance to greet him. “I'm looking for Jami Carter.” 

Scarlatti seemed to freeze mid-motion and his face went stone cold. “Who's asking?” He said, voice like ice. 

“A former partner.” Logan replied with a frown at the other man's tone. “We were supposed to have dinner.” 

Scarlatti's face made a funny expression; half-between sadness and laughter. Logan felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach; something was very wrong here. If Jami had been hurt...

“I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this; but Jami's dead.” Scarlatti told him bluntly. 

It took a moment for those words to sink in and when they did Logan felt he had been hit with a ton of bricks. All of a sudden it felt like he was walking underwater. It took him a moment to realize that Scarlatti was talking again. “What?” Logan managed to ask.

“I said I don't have all the details yet. I'm just about to head down there.” Scarlatti peered at Logan. “You going to be ok?” He asked in concern. 

“Yeah.” Somehow Logan managed to pull himself together. “I'm going with you.” He found himself saying.   
o0o 

The drive to the crime scene was a blur. Later, Logan wouldn't be able to remember anything about how they got there. He didn't even know where they were until Scarlatti stopped the undercover car and he looked up. 

They were in front of Jami's apartment building. The darkness of the early evening was broken every so often by the red and blue flashing lights of the four black and white's that were parked outside the front of the building. 

Scarlatti got out of the car to approach the officer's and let them know who they were and what they wanted. Logan followed Scarlatti after a moment. They were quickly waved through the crime scene tape and Scarlatti took point, leading Logan up the stairs to the third floor. 

That five minute walk was the longest of Logan's life. He kept seeing the stairs as they had been the night before. On the third stairwell landing, they encountered four other officers in plain clothes and a couple of uniformed officers. 

Scarlatti greeted one of the detectives with a brief touch on his elbow and nodded to the others. “Who's the first on scene?” He asked. 

One of the detective's cleared his throat. “Ben.” He answered. He motioned with his head towards the open apartment door. “He was picking Jami up. He's still in there.” 

“We can't get him to move.” The blonde-haired woman added. 

Logan heard Scarlatti draw in a sharp breath. “Thanks.” He replied. He placed his hand on the first speaker's upper arm. “Hang in there.” 

Scarlatti motioned with his head towards the open apartment door and then he headed towards it. With a frown, Logan followed. Just before they entered, they were met by another detective. He nodded to Scarlatti. 

“Richards; IAB.” He told them. “I'm running point.” 

“Scarlatti, I'm her commanding officer. Where is she?” Scarlatti asked quietly. 

Richards cast a glance towards Logan and then back to Scarlatti. “You shouldn't be here..” 

“Two minutes.” Scarlatti bargained. 

“Look, but don't touch.” Richards cautioned them. “We have to preserve most of the scene if we want to get them.” 

He just moved aside, letting them pass. Scarlatti stepped inside the apartment and then stopped in his tracks. Logan -who was behind him- stepped to the side and saw Jami's body. Correction; he saw the large pool of blood first and had to pull his eyes away from it. 

Jami was lying in the middle of the open floor plan; half-way between the kitchen and the living room. She still wore the light blue dress shirt that he had seen her in that morning as he had hurried out the door, though now it was bunched up around her waist; exposing her black undergarment. The shirt was bloody too; hand smears covered the left side and shoulder. 

One side of the blood had smears in it; like someone had moved around in it. That someone – Ben, Logan could only assume- sat on the hardwood floor, covered in blood. He was staring blankly at Jami's body. Logan recognized it as shock. His face was pale and at some point he had run his hands though his dark hair, leaving behind dried blood. 

Logan's attention turned back to the blood and his feet carried him closer before he realized what was happening. Jami's Glock was in her hand and there was several spent bullet casing on the floor. She had fought back. 

There were several smears in the blood pool that didn't look like they had been made by Ben. She had tried to get up; tried to get help. Logan suddenly felt sick. 

“I couldn't save her.” 

Logan looked up at the same time as Scarlatti. It was Ben who had spoken. 

He looked up at them. “She was still alive when I got here.” He told them hollowly. “She hung on. She...” He stopped; unable to go on. 

Scarlatti took charge. He took the couple of steps towards Ben and crouched down in front of the younger man. “You did everything by the book.” He said. “There's nothing we could've done.” 

“I could've been here sooner!” Ben replied angrily. “I could've...”

Scarlatti held up a hand stopping him. “Don't.” He told Ben. “Don't blame yourself.” 

The younger man nodded, but Logan could tell that he didn't believe his supervisor. 

“Come on.” Scarlatti's said after a moment. “Let's get you cleaned up.” He gently gripped Ben's arm and hoisted the other man to his feet. One of the uniformed officers came forward and took Ben out of the room. 

Logan's legs suddenly felt like they couldn't support him and he sank down, careful not to touch the floor. His training was running on autopilot. “Oh, Jami.” He murmured. “What did you get yourself into?” 

As expected there was no answer from Jami. No laugh, no witty comment, nothing about how challenging she found the tough cases. Logan wondered what she would have to say about this scene. He reached out and gently closed Jami's eyes. 

He sensed someone behind him and rose to his feet, turning to face the other detective. 

“Come on.” Scarlatti said. “We should get out of here. Forensics will be here soon.”

Logan realized after he spoke that the sirens that he had heard in the background had gotten closer. “Yeah.” He managed to say before following Scarlatti out of the apartment. 

They passed Richards in the doorway. Shock gave way to anger and Logan turned to the detective. “Do me a favour. Let me know when you get these bastards.” 

Richards nodded. “No problem. Just keep your nose out of my investigation.” He shot a look at Scarlatti. “IAB's got this covered.” 

Logan nodded, tight lipped. “Yeah, sure.”

He and Scarlatti joined the other plain-clothed OCID officers out on the landing as IAB took control of the scene and a few minutes later, the forensics crew entered the apartment.

“Is the kid going to be alright?” Logan asked. He and Scarlatti had retreated to a quiet corner and were leaning against the railing of the landing. 

Scarlatti gave a one shoulder shrug. “Maybe.” He replied. “They were close.” He caught Logan's confused look. “Ben is... uh, was Jami's partner.” He corrected himself. 

“She didn't tell me she had a partner.” Logan replied. 

“She was a private person. UC does that to you.” Scarlatti said. He turned to look at Logan. “How well did you know her?” 

“Not very.” Logan admitted slowly as his detective sense started to tingle; Scarlatti sounded like he was starting an interrogation. “We were only partners for a brief time. Haven't seen each other in a few years. Why do you ask?” 

Scarlatti shrugged. “Just curious.” He replied. “Jami never mentioned you. Ever.” 

“Like you said, she was a private person.” Logan answered. “We only worked a case together before she was transferred back.” 

“Major Case right?” Scarlatti asked. He shrugged in answer to Logan's confused look. “The timeline fits; Jami didn't talk about her time at Major Case. I was surprised to see her back in UC; thought she was moving up.” 

“Yeah. Well. The brass had it in for her after that case.” Logan said tight-lipped as he thought back to that frustrating case that had ended in Jami being transferred back to the Organized Crime Division. “Has anyone contacted James Deakins?” He asked. “He'll want to know.”

Scarlatti shook his head. “I'll get someone to call him.” He promised. “Better from us then from IAB. You going to stick around? I can get an officer to drive you home.” 

Suddenly, he felt tired; very tired. He also had no vehicle. He nodded. “Yeah; that'll be good. Thanks.”


	3. Chapter 3

He dragged himself to the office the next morning. Wheeler was already waiting for him when he arrived. She put down the files she had been playing with on his desk. She had a concerned look on her face. “Ross wants to see you.” She said. “You in trouble or something?” 

“Not that I know.” Logan replied, sliding his gun into his desk drawer. 

She looked closer at him. “You look like shit. You ok?” 

Logan sighed. “Former partner of mine was murdered last night.” He replied. “Didn't get a lot of sleep.” 

“Mike, I'm sorry.” Wheeler said. 

“Thanks. I better see what the Captain wants.” Logan walked through the desks and knocked on the door before entering. There were already two detectives inside the room. One of them was Scarlatti. The other was from IAB, whom he had met the night before; Richards. 

“Come in, Logan.” Ross said. “These gentlemen have some questions about Detective Jami Carter. She was murdered last night.” 

“I know. I was there.” Logan said. He looked at Scarlatti. “What do you want to know?” 

“We could start with why your cellphone was found at her apartment.” Scarlatti said. “You neglected to mention to me that you were there recently.” 

His tone was suspicious. Logan felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “Didn't think it was any of your business.” He said. 

“It is my business when one of my detectives ends up murdered.” Scarlatti shot back. “Why don't you tell me what happened that night, detective?” 

“Hold it.” Ross said. “I agreed to a few questions, not an interrogation. Logan, I think we should speak before we continue.” 

“No, it's ok.” Logan said. “I'll talk. Ask your questions, Scarlatti.” 

“Whoa. You two; cool it.” Richards ordered. “Let's back up here. Look.” He addressed Ross. “Sergeant Scarlatti is here on a courtesy only. IAB is the one who has a few questions for your detective. We just have to clear a few things up. Could we use your interview room, Captain?”

Ross raised an eyebrow. “Is this an official interview?” He asked. “Because if it is, Detective Logan is allowed to have a union rep present.” 

“If you wish him to have representation, that is your prerogative.” Richards said. 

“I'd like to have a few moments alone with my detective if you don't mind.” Ross said. It was more then just a request. It was an order. He outranked them. The two officers filed out and Ross closed the door. He shut the blinds and turned to Logan. 

“What the hell is going on?” He said. “You were present at a murder scene? I want the whole story right now.” 

“There's nothing to tell.” Logan replied. “I went to have dinner with an old partner last night. She wasn't answering her phone so I went to the precinct. Scarlatti told me she had been murdered and I rode along to the scene.” 

Ross eyed him for a moment. “How well did you know your former partner?” 

“What do you mean? We weren't dating if that's what you mean.” 

“Doesn't matter.” Ross said. “Was last night the first night you'd seen her? How often did you two have dinner. Personally, I don't care what you do on your off hours, but IAB is going to want an answer.” 

“Hey, I don't understand what business IAB has poking their noses into my personal life.”

“That's exactly the kind of answer Richards is looking for. It looks like you're trying to cover something up. We do the same thing to suspects.” He said in answer to Logan's look.

“Yeah. Because they've always got something to hide. I don't.” 

“Well you can either tell me now or IAB later, because the truth is going to come out whatever your feelings are about prying into the personal affairs of a detective during a murder investigation. We're not above the law, Logan. We have to answer to our actions same as everyone else.” 

Logan sighed and walked to the corner of the room. After a minute he turned around. “We slept together, alright? It was one time and we were both a little drunk; I owed her dinner. I must have left my cell phone at her place. I went to the precinct because she had to go undercover and I didn't like things the way I left them. The creeps must have been waiting outside her place until I left. She didn't even have time to get dressed.” 

Ross was quiet for a moment. “Do they have any leads?” He asked after a moment.

“If they do, they're not telling me. Besides, the fact that they're here asking me questions tells me they don't have a clue.”

Ross nodded. “I'll get a hold of the brass in IAB. I know someone down there. Maybe he can sort something out of this mess. In the meantime, you're going to answer Richard's questions. Play nice.” He warned.

“Hey.” Logan smiled. “I'm all about nice. Richards I have no issue with. Scarlatti is playing hardball.” 

o0o

“You slept with her!?” Scarlatti’s hand hit the table in front of Logan. “What the hell were you thinking!?” 

The tension in the room jumped up ten notches. Logan looked from Scarlatti's hand up to the other detective's face. “My personal life is none of your business.” He said coldly. 

“It is when one of my officers ends up murdered.” Scarlatti said evenly as he glared back at Logan. “Was it consensual?” 

Logan’s glare could have melted glass. “Of course it was! What do you think I am? Some kind of perv?” 

“Scarlatti.” Richards motioned for the other man to back off. “You're here as a courtesy. Don't push it.” He lay out a few pieces of paper and a photograph on the table. “Detective, she had finger marks on her thigh and your DNA was all over that apartment.” 

“This doesn’t prove anything.” Logan shoved the paper back across the table. “I already told you that we...” 

Richards put a hand over the picture before Logan could remove it. “Yes. I know. But this grip is very close to yours. And there is no evidence of forced entry in the apartment.” 

Logan’s face went hard. “I would never hurt Jami.” He replied coldly. “Or any other woman.” 

Scarlatti came back to the table. “Here’s what I think happened, Logan. You went out for a drink, both of you went back to her apartment and got it on. Is that what happened, Detective? You were drunk and horny? Decided that she was a young hotshot? Needed to teach her a lesson?” 

Mike saw red. He knew what Scarlatti was insinuating and fellow officer or not, he was ready to punch this guy’s lights out. With a quick motion. Logan was on his feet. He barely checked his temper and pointed a finger at Scarlatti. 

“You better shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” Logan said between clenched teeth.

“Is that a threat?” Scarlatti asked. 

“You bet your ass.” Logan said. He was ready to go. 

“Let's all just calm down.” Richards said. He stood. “Scarlatti. One more outburst and you're gone.” 

Scarlatti eyed Logan for a moment and then spoke towards the recorder resting on the table. “For the record, Detective Logan has just threatened an officer for insinuating that he may have…” 

Logan didn’t wait for him to finish before he shoved the table to the side. Scarlatti backed into the corner, fists coming up in a defensive posture. Logan felt a hand slam in the middle of his chest as Richards stepped between them. 

“That's enough!” He ordered. “Scarlatti; you're out. Go.” The door to the room opened and two uniformed officers came into the room. They were followed by Captain Ross and the Captains from OCID and IAB. 

“He's not gone until we set this straight.” Logan said. He was seething by now. 

Ross went straight for Logan. “Mike! Come on! This isn’t helping anyone!” Spinning towards the IAB suit, Ross spoke firmly. “We’re taking a break.” His tone made it clear that he was not going to take no for an answer. 

Ross escorted Logan into a quiet corner of the precinct and then laid into him. “What the hell was that? You trying to get yourself arrested?” 

Logan started to speak, but Ross interrupted him. “Frankly, I don't care what he said or didn't say. That was no reason to go off like that. It doesn't help you. Pull yourself together, Logan!” 

“Pull myself together?” Logan asked incredulously. “Jami is dead and this guy keeps on trying to pin it on me! He practically laid out evidence to make it seem like I raped her, and killed her to cover it up! Would you pull yourself together if you were in my shoes?” 

Ross nodded. “Ok.” He said holding out a hand. “I get where you're coming from; I really do. But this is not the time to defend yourself like a schoolboy. Now, you're going to go back in that room and tell Richards exactly what happened. Alright? It's the fastest way to clear this up.” 

Logan nodded. There wasn't much else he could say. “I need something from my desk.” Several minutes later, Logan walked back into the room. Richards was waiting for him. 

Logan put a tape on the table in front of the IAB detective before taking his seat again. “It's a message that Jami left me yesterday night before I came to precinct. You should hear it.” 

Richards picked the tape up. “So you slept together. What happened next? Did you sleep over?”

“Yes. I left just after seven and came to work. I had the early shift.” 

“Do you remember the exact time you left the apartment?” Richards asked. 

“Seven-fifteen, seven twenty.” Logan guessed. 

Richards pulled out another piece of paper. “The OCID switchboard shows a call to Detective's Carter's cell phone at seven-thirty. From all indications, she was alone when the call came in. She was given the day off in order to put her affairs in order before going undercover again. 

The ME estimates that from the amount of blood, she was shot at around five- thirty or five-forty pm, but bruises indicate that she was tortured before that. Time of death was six fifteen; a few minutes after her partner arrived to pick her up. Paramedics didn't make it in time.” 

Logan felt sick. Half an hour. She had been alive for more then half an hour before Ben had arrived at the apartment. 

“What time did you leave work yesterday?” 

Logan ran a hand over his face and cleared his throat. “Uh, just before seven. My partner will vouch for me. We were together the entire day. We got tossed off a gang case by OCID and were working a high-end robbery.” 

Richards nodded and wrote something down. “Do you know of anyone who would have wanted to hurt Detective Carter?”

Logan scoffed at that questions. “Twenty-five or thirty current and ex-cons. She was good at her job, Richards.” 

“Most of them are still in jail, Detective; and the ones that aren't have been accounted for. I'm looking for something more personal then that. What happened was something more then just a hit on a police officer. It was personal. They found out where she lived, watched her and then terrorized and murdered her in her own home. That's personal, not professional.”

Richards leaned back in his chair. “Again, any names that you can recall Detective Carter mentioning during your time together?” 

“She might have mentioned one or two, but that was over two years ago.” 

“Nothing recent?” 

Logan shook his head. 

Richards leaned forward. “Come on, Detective! She must have mentioned something. You two were intimate. Please don't tell me that you're not saying anything because you want to go after them yourself. You're too smart for that.” 

Logan didn't say anything. Richards sighed and turned off the tape. “We're done here.” 

Logan stood and walked towards the door. “Just don't go anywhere.” Richards cautioned him. “We might need to speak again.” 

Logan yanked open the door and left the interrogation room. Ross was waiting for him with a quiet word of caution before letting go for the day. 

o0o

He stood outside the One Police Plaza in a semi-daze, everything that Richards had said surging through his brain. He felt like someone had squeezed out his insides and put them back. Everything had happened way too fast these last two days. Images clicked through his brain... 

Jami smiling at him as she raised the glass to her lips... how good she felt in his arms... Scarlatti's face telling him that Jami was dead... the evidence ,the pictures... the ME's report on how she died. Bruises. 

It was too sudden, too fast; they'd never even had a chance to talk about things. Logan wasn't looking for a relationship, neither was she by the sounds of it. They had been a little drunk and maybe a little lonely, but that was all it was meant to be. Murder?

“I need a drink.” Logan muttered.   
o0o

He soon found himself at one of the bars that off duty cops frequented. 

He was on his second drink when someone came up beside him. Logan looked up to see James Deakins. 

“Thought I'd find you here, Logan.” Deakins said. Logan knew by the look in his eyes that the former Major Case Captain had already been told about Jami. 

He turned back to his drink. “Getting predictable am I?” 

“Maybe.” Deakins responded. “But then maybe I am too.” He nodded to the bartender and motioned to the drink in Logan's hand. “I'll have what he's having.” The bartender nodded and moved away. 

Deakins took the seat next to Logan and scooted it closer so they could talk without being overheard easily. “Hell of a day.” 

“How long have you...?”

“Known?” Deakins sighed as Logan nodded. “They came to my house last night. Apparently, I'm still listed as an emergency contact. Not that it surprises me.” He added with a small smile. The smile faded as he reached for the drink the bartender put on the counter. “That's two Carter's gone on my watch.” 

“And both of them were not your fault.” Logan was quick to say. “IAB thinks this might have something to do with one of her old cases. It wasn't professional, they were after revenge.” 

“The Kings were my first thought.” Deakins said. He took another drink. “Hm. When I heard, I thought it. Barez has come back. He shot a cop, that cop's daughter shut down his investigation. Maybe he decided enough was enough.” 

In the back of his mind, Logan heard Jami. 

“It was how he become second in command within the gang. Dad removed their source of income when he busted them for coke working undercover. Carlos Mendez, the then leader of the Kings, hired Barez to kill Dad.”

He shook his head. “I didn't think of that. I still can't believe it was Jami who went undercover with the Kings.” 

Deakins shrugged. “No one did. My detectives arrested her. They thought she'd murdered someone. We all did. She's good, was good. There's no reason you would've thought of it; before your time.”

“Yeah, but it makes sense.” Logan downed his drink. “Maybe if IAB knew, they could...” 

“Do nothing?” Deakins shoved the now empty glass back across the counter and grimaced. “Berez is a ghost, Logan. He comes and he goes and no one knows anything by the time we get there.” 

“Yeah, but he's a punk. I mean he capped a cop just so he could move up a rank in the gang. You seriously think a guy like that has enough brains to act like a professional killer?” 

“No, but I do think someone like that knows how to get jobs. He's a mob hitmen now.” Deakins said.

Logan frowned at this little bit of information. “Wait, tell me you haven't been keeping tabs on this guy.” 

Deakins shrugged and casually reached back for his jacket. “Didn't have to. He's on the FBI radar now.” 

“Yeah, but how do you know...?” 

Deakins turned back to him and slapped a few bills down on the countertop. “Just drop it, Logan. Either IAB is going to find something or they're not. Throwing them Berez is like throwing a bear some food; he'll eat it and then come after you for more. There is no more information for IAB to find when it comes to Berez.” 

Deakins stood from the chair and threw his jacket around his shoulders. “Just grieve like everyone else and move on.” 

“Just like you?” Logan shot back, unable to keep his temper in control anymore. Something was going on. 

Deakins face twisted into an emotion that Logan hadn't seen before. “Don't pretend to know anything about my grief, Logan. She was your partner for two minutes, I knew her since she was a kid.” 

“I seem to know her better. She wouldn't give up when it came to finding a killer. She wouldn't stop until that bastard is behind bars or better, dead. So, I'll grieve when I find Jami's killer.” Logan said turning back to his drink. “That's what she would have done.” 

Deakins slide back onto the chair. “You don't know who you're messing with here, Logan. You're treading on FBI territory.” 

“Apparently, so are you.” Logan said turning back to Deakins. “How does a retired cop know so much about an FBI case? Are you looking into it?”

Deakins stood up. “Some of us still have friends. Make sure that you don't lose yours over this case.” He grabbed the newspaper he'd set on the counter when he first sat down. “I'll see you at the funeral.” 

The retired police captain turned and walked out of the bar, head down and newspaper under his arm, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.


	4. Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen to: A Little Lair for a Very Small Bear by Lowercase Noises

It had been three weeks since Logan had met Deakins in the bar. It had been a three weeks since he'd been interrogated about Jami's death. It had been almost four weeks since Logan had heard her laugh. 

He didn't realize that he'd missed her laugh and he couldn't remember when he'd first noticed it. It was funny what had happened in the short time they'd known each other. 

They had gone from annoyed partners to friends and then to lovers. And though Logan knew he'd move on – he'd already had in the partner side of things – he couldn't quite shake the feeling that Jami had been brought into his life for a short while to get him to see how messed up his world had become. 

Deakins had been right that day in the bar. This case was out of their hands and Logan had to grieve and move on. He hadn't know her that long. Deakins had also been right about that. But Logan did know that Jami wouldn't have wanted him or any of them to waste their lives trying to track down a killer that couldn't be found.

And that was good, real good considering how the investigation had stalled. 

Richards wasn't able to find anything and no new leads had surfaced. It was still an ongoing case, but Logan knew that once ongoing cases stalled, there were easily forgotten about and turned into Cold Cases. The ones that other departments handled. 

He'd already been shoved into a higher profile, less personal case with Wheeler.

Logan stood on the edge of the lawn that lead into the cemetery as he thought about Jami. They hadn't been able to have a funeral until the investigation had come to somewhat of a close.

There were dozens of uniformed officers and even more of them not wearing a uniform. The gathering of the people stopped and they filed into a line, some sitting in the chairs placed at the edge of the gravesite. Logan moved forward and joined the ones standing, falling into line beside Wheeler. It was good his partner had come with him. They needed their groove back. 

As the minister spoke, Logan caught Deakins eye. His wife Angie was right next to him, Deakins held her hand tight. They were one of the few people sitting, the family for an undercover cop who had none. 

Deakins gave him the barest of nods and looked away. 

Logan knew that Jami had no family legally, but once you were NYPD blue, the force was your family. Dysfunctional, yes; sibling rivalry, sure; but they had your back. And one day, the Carter's killer would be caught by someone in the family. Hopefully that would happened before he retired, but justice was slow. Logan thought about the case file sitting on the passenger seat of his car, and then put it out of his mind. 

He wouldn't think about that today, today he was thinking about Jami Elizabeth Carter. 

-The End-


End file.
